Yesterday I had to endure my friend Kate spooning spaghetti into her boyfriend Rich’s mouth and at one point they even recreated the scene from Lady And The Tramp. Before you ask whether I had gatecrashed their romantic date, the answer is no. It was a birthday meal and there were ten of us siting at the table.
Here at Lovestruck.com, we’re all about falling in love and being happy, but everyone knows one of those creepy couples who makes you want to grab the sick bucket, scream obscenities and live the life of a hermit. We’ve rounded up the top ten most irritating ones:
1. The Feeders: We’ll start with the ones like Kate and Rich, who think it’s perfectly acceptable to order for each other, eat off each other’s plates and dig into their pudding as if they are performing an act from the Karma Sutra. These types should never eat in restaurants together. Ever.
2. The TMIs: They share everything, from the fact they have a dodgy tummy, to the fact she is hoping to wax her moustache later. Keeping a bit of mystery in the relationship falls on deaf ears. If this is you, you are WAY too comfortable with your partner.
3. The “Feet-Straight-In” Match: They are just planning date three, but have also discussed names for their future children and are thinking about ringing round some local wedding venues to see if they have room in April 2016.
4. The Invisible Partner: Everyone has a great friend who has been dating someone for at least two years. Have you ever met them? No. You’re starting to wonder if they really do exist.
5. The Social Media Sharers: This couple share everything over Facebook and Twitter and rather than have a conversation they fill up each other’s walls with chit chat, including the fact they want to rip each other’s clothes off – oh, and they’ve got a can of squirty cream for later. #toomuch #youmakeusfeelgross #stopitrightnow
6. The “Been-There-Done-It” Pair: So you’re saving up to go to the Madives? Oh, they just got back from there last week. You’re hoping to run a marathon? Oh, they’ve done five between them. Work crisis? They’ve had far worse. Yes, that couple.
7. The Matchmakers: These two have recently moved in together and have been hosting a back-to-back dinner parties for all their single friends, so everyone can couple up and be as happy as they are. They sit you next to the one with the BO and weird chat.
8. The On/Offs: Oh, they have split up. Sorry, I mean they are together again. Oh? It’s over for good this time. This couple just can’t make up they’re mind and you are bored of dishing out advice.
9. The Joined-At-The-Hips: This couple does everything together, and sometimes even hang out in the bathroom when one of them needs a wee. No friend time allowed. Sorry, their partner is coming too.
10. The Pet-Name Users: “Oh Fluffykins, stop teasing me?” “What do you mean ChickyWooWoo, I’m only joking.” STOP IT NOW.
Do you recognise these couples? Any more types to add to our list? Tell us @lovestruck