You meet a girl, she’s funny, sexy… and you’re really into her. But! Before you decide to make her ‘The One’,you have to know she feels the same way. Women aren’t as complicated as they like to make out – they’re either interested or not. It is said, on average, a woman decides what kind of relationship she wants with you within 10 minutes of meeting you. If your lady luck is displaying the majority of these 10 signs then she (probably) isn’t interested…
Body Language
They say that body language speaks more than words – it’s true. When a woman likes you, she will sit up straight to show off the best of her body, maintain eye contact you and possibly have a fiddle with her hair. If she is constantly slumped next to you with a wondering eye, give up now – unless she’s had a stroke in which case call her an ambulance.
Hesitation
No matter how nervous she is, if you go in for a kiss and she seems tense/awkward/hesitant, she is not highly attracted to you. Women run on instincts, and if she isn’t instinctively responding to your touch automatically, she isn’t feeling it 100%. Sorry.
“Meet My Friend”
When you meet your potential GF, is she always gushing about her best mate? Or even worse, is the friend always present on your ‘dates’? Unfortunately, this doesn’t mean she wants to get freaky with you and her friend, it probably means she wants to set you up with her. Just you.And her friend.To get rid of you. Consider this option… it’s better than nothing.
“He’s such an asshole”
I’ve done this many-a-time, so believe me when I say this. If you meet your lady for a quiet dinner and she is ranting about a guy from work, she is probably attracted to him. Not you. I mean, she’s at dinner with you, thinking about HIM. Duh. When you’re young, they say boys tease you if they like you. If the ‘teasing’ truly bothers a woman, then it’s simple;she likes him too. Not you. Sorry, again.
No, No, No
Sometimes, a guy will ask you out and you’ll be gutted because you have another commitment that day. Fair enough. But if she keeps saying no, then you may have a problem buddy. If she keeps rejecting your offers because her cats died, her mums ill, her roof is leaking, or work is “really putting the pressure on” then she is probably making excuses. Because she doesn’t want to see you. Say no more. And besides who wants to date a drama queen like her anyway?
Silence
Have you noticed that you keep feeling a vibration under the dinner table? She’s not so turned on by you that she cannot wait any longer – it’s her phone you doofus. If a lady is constantly putting her phone on silent, it is because she is expecting a message or a call from someone she REALLY likes. No if’s, no but’s. That is the only time us chicks show discretion with our iphones. The other tell-tale sign is that moments after the buzz, she’ll excuse herself to the loo with the excuse ‘this wine’s going right through me tonight!’ Yeah it’s not the wine she wants going through her it’s the sender of that text. Move on…
Lets (not) Get Physical
I have never quite understood that cliché “not tonight darling, I have a headache.” If that’s what married life is like, I want no part in it. If you are with a young, vibrant woman, it’s a simple rule. If she is genuinely into you, she will always want you to be in her. No excuses – and certainly no headaches. It’s also worth noting that the headache excuse is bollocks as medically speaking, a good sordid sex sesh will more often than not alliviate the symptoms as the flow of blood from the brain to the fun bits relieves pressure – bet ya didn’t know that huh?
Independent Woman
If you are with a decent woman then she will appreciate anything you do for her, whether it’s picking her up from work or buying her a coffee. However, if she isn’t into you, it can go either one of two ways. She will either not let you do anything for her, or she will insist on paying you back if you do. This is because she doesn’t want to feel under any obligation by you. Alternatively she could have feministic ideals and ‘doesn’t need any man doing anything for me’. This doesn’t mean she’s not into you – she’s just not prepared to be your siamese twin and become a single unit. She’s got an independant side and if that’s evident then you’ve got a result as when you’re broke and fancy going out you can play your ace of ‘I paid last time’.The flip side to all this is she could be a total bitch and not feel any shame of letting you continuously picking up the bill, simply because she doesn’t give a shit and is a spoilt little sponge testing you to see what she’ll get.
Eye, Eye
For most women, eye contact can more intimate than… well, other things. If she cannot maintain eye contact with you, then she has no desire to be intimate with you. Or she is very uncomfortable with the idea. That or she’s got some eye condition or something.If you’re not sure, look into her eyes for 10 seconds. It is important to smile and look at her casually as a long hard stare or maniacal grin will possibly make her run screaming from you – possibly for her life.If she can’t stand those (possibly awkward) 10 seconds, then…
I Need A Drink
Most of us like a drink or two, especially if you’re on a date and feeling a bit nervous. However, if shes drinking like a fish on all of your dates or (hopefully not) taking other drugs, then she is probably trying to escape. From the reality of you.Or simply reality itself. Because she doesn’t know why she keeps dating you… although she reckons it must just be because she’s lonely. Or bored. Either way, she has to drink to make the experience bearable. This girl is worrying as it could be the mask to god knows what problems she’s got and you mate are probably an emotional crutch to her. She may well insist on you coming back afterwards and appealing as this may well be, its probably not a good idea as you will not be having string symphonies and fireworks sex – it’ll be clumsy drunken sex. Hardly the way to start something meaningful. Then on top of that you have the awkward morning after when sobriety and a hang over hits you. Hard. Like a brick. In the face. Repeatedly. This is made doubley worse if she’s crying and wailing ‘why do I keep doing this??’
Did I say women weren’t that complicated? Women are harsh bitches, huh?
Words by Maz Khan
