“The more you have loved and have allowed yourself to suffer because of your love, the more you will be able to let your heart grow wider and deeper. When your love is truly giving and receiving, those whom you love will not leave your heart even when they depart from you. The pain of rejection, absence, and death can become fruitful. Yes, as you love deeply the ground of your heart will be broken more and more, but you will rejoice in the abundance of the fruit it will bear.” Henri Nouwen.
Fruitful or not love hurts, it’s a fact! As sure as the black guy dying first in a horror film or Drake getting you thinking about your ex, love it gonna get you, it’s gonna hurt you, and if you’re unlucky, it’s gonna leave a scar. But like the great Bob Marley said “The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
With that in mind we must approach love prepared with a first aid kit to equipped us to deal with the potential heart break, because let’s be real, unless you’re the one doing the heartbreaking, chances are it’s going to happen.
Pratical ways to mend a broken heart.
Dos……
Pamper yourself, indulge in a relaxing bubble bath, a spa day, get your hair done. Anything that makes you feel taken care of, do it and enjoy.
Have a bitch night with friends where you list, draw, makes jokes, about everything that was truely rubbish about your ex.
Don’t be friends, as the truest viral meme ever said, “your ex asking to stay friends is like a kidnapper asking to keep in touch after they let you go.” Take it a step further and delete them from everywhere they can be deleted from, phone, Facebook, Instagram, trust me you’ll thank me for this.
Join a bootcamp, not only is exercise a great mood elevator, getting involved with a group will help distract you and get you body beautiful. Suck on that one ex!
Make new friends, ones who didn’t know your ex and can’t remind you of them with updates on their life and questions about the breakup, visa versa, since they don’t know your ex you won’t be tempted to talk about them either, (unless you’re a total bore and deserved to get dumped).
Change your house around, let go of memories that your shared, who’s side of the bed? Don’t know cause I moved it so it’s all my side now bitch!
Do charity work, remembering how much worse it could be is a great help. Even going to a shelter once to help out will remind you how good you still have it and make you feel awesome about yourself as a kind, charitable person.
Find a new passion, make new memories, use this experience as a challenge rather than a set back. You now have lots of free time to take up the guitar, ride a horse, join a sports team.
Read, simple but there is it. Get off the internet where you’re tempted to have a spy on your ex and depress yourself further. Get some books, emerge and stimulate yourself in exotic stories that will take your mind far away from the situation at hand, if you can do this while laying on a glorious beach somewhere even better.
Here are some simple things not to do.
Don’t…..
Become friends with benefits, don’t downgrade yourself for a break up cushion, you’ll hate yourself for it in the long run.
Try to change to win them back, self improvement is always good but for the right reasons.
Throw yourself into a rebound relationship where you will build scar tissue and end up hurting someone else in the process, give yourself time to heal first.
Don’t try to drink or party away your problems, the hangovers will intensify your problems.
Don’t become a stalker, step away from twitter, no late night drive by’s, and that club you know they always go to, don’t go there.
Dont seek revenge, your fablousoity will be revenge enough.
Don’t hold onto mutual friends or his family, getting some space from them even in the short term will help move on.
Don’t social network your new life for their benefit, don’t put up statuses and pictures aimed at winding up your ex, everyone knows what you’re doing and nobody’s impressed.
Don’t wallow, there is a point where you have to stop talking it over with everyone who will listen.
Don’t give it another shot, you ended for good reason, probably a very good reason, don’t throw yourself back into the belly of the beast.