Getting out of the Friend Zone
The friend zone for a man, a humiliating, degrading place for a man. A place where you become a beautiful woman’s eunuch, the assembler of her flat pack furniture, her rom com watching partner in crime, her taxi driver, same day loan provider and general dogs body. Yes you know you have done all these things for a woman in the hope that one day she will miraculously see that you are the man of her dreams. Here’s the harsh reality of it, it won’t happen if you carry on the way you’re going.
You’ll notice I directed this Friendship Zone to men, there’s a reason for this. Women don’t tend to get into this zone, women end up in the Booty Call Zone and we’ll talk about getting out of that one next time.
So back to the poor men stuck massaging feet, maybe calves but not higher because “you’re like my brother”, how did you get into this position in the first place? Basically she doesn’t fancy you. She could have fancied you, when she first started talking to you you must have ticked some boxes or you would have never had that first chance, but somewhere along the way you did something that that made her say to herself “I am not sleeping with this guy”.
Here’s what you did.
1. You were too nice.
This isn’t to say you should treat a woman badly, quite the opposite, but don’t be TOO nice. By this I mean has she earned your affection? If you’re offering someone more than what they feel the relationship warrants at this point in time then you seem desperate and nobody wants desperate. Either she’s the best thing you’ve ever come close to having or you just do this with everyone, neither of these will help your cause.
Solution: keep your affectionate offerings in line with hers, let her earn your adoration, you can not buy it (unless you’re looking for a gold digger).
2. You’re a loser
Sorry to put it so bluntly but this is how you have projected yourself. Do you complain about hating your job, being cheated on my your ex, being treated badly by the waitress? No woman wants a man who gets walked all over by others and definitely not one who moans because these are not masculine characteristics. A woman wants a man who can protect her, this goes back to the cave man ideal. If you are unable to stand up for yourself, exhibit a strong character and solve problems then what kind of boyfriend are you going to make?
Solution: Be strong, of you don’t like something change it! You don’t earn enough then work for a promotion. Don’t like the way your steak is cooked, then ask the waitress to change it. Show this woman you can take charge of a situation and be a hero not a zero.
3. You dress like an idiot
You could be perfect in a lot of ways but if you lack style this will put a lot of women off you. Maybe she spends hours talking to you in the phone, seems like you’ve got lots in common but face to face….nothing. Ask yourself do you look the best you could? Is your hair freshly cut and groomed? Are your clothes well fitting and stylish? Do you smell great inside and out (we’re talking aftershave and breath here). A woman wants a man she can feel proud of, not one who makes her feel like people are thinking she can do better.
Solution: Invest in new clothes regularly. Find out who’s her celebrity crush, this will give you a good indication of the style she likes and work it into your wardrobe. Look like the best you possible.
4.You didn’t even try to seduce her
This sounds basic but happens all the time. A man is afraid to make a move, seems less risky to suggest friendly dates rather than romantic ones. Whatsapps all the time instead of calling because maybe she’s busy. Basically you were waiting for a perfect moment because really you were scarred of rejection and were happier waiting it out friendship style.
Solution: Make a move! Ask her out on a date, make sure plenty of alcohol is involved and it’s pretty romantic. Let there be no doubt from the beginning that this is a date, not free tickets you just happened to have or just the idea of going somewhere if she wanted. After she agrees you must attempt a kiss during the date, do not allow her to hug you and pat your back. If she hugs you you squeeze her tightly, show her that you’re a man with masculine urges and go in for a kiss god damn it. If she still says no then you probably need to revise steps 1-3 again.