It’s usually 1am when “they” send,
a text that begins “are you…” and with
‘…awake?’ ends.
By “they” I mean them females that I have expressed interest in being more than just friends.
BUT…unfortunately I fall into the group of men,
that are..
too nice (yuck)
too cute (yuck)
too FUNNY(yuck)
to be any thing more than just a “buddy”!
So it’s the social limbo called “the friend zone” I go..
Anywho
lets return to the “are you awake?” text,
you see as a “friend” I am required to do a Floetry and SAY YES.
Which I do, knowing like a minority report
pre-cog what’s next..
I press send – check
Message delivered – check
Blackberry rings – check
I say “hey”, she says “u ok?”, I reply “yep.”
I say “Its been a while,” she says “I know , I’m sorry, I’ve been busy.”
PAUSE..
REWIND..
PLAY and TRANSLATE…
“…I’ve been busy.”
meaning
“I met a guy that I found more attractive than you, and me and said guy have been having too much fun and sex to, bother with getting in touch with you.”
Anywho
Now she’s upset because aforementioned guy is not quite as perfect..
all his merits dont seem to mean d!ck in the cold hard light of sh!t..
You see she “by mistake on purpose” stumbled upon evidence of his *cough*
other conquests..
and now she feels stupid because he was so suspect..
and now she saying she is filled with regret..
Now she wants us to meet up,
catch up where we left off..
cus she now sees that she really needs a friend (yuck)
Well excuse me my dear,
you see this safety net right here..
is OUT OF ORDER, so good morning dear
SAFETY NET GUY no longer lives here!
*END CALL*
Words by Eddie Smith aka Versetti