Model and iCandy Features writer Becki Pearson joins us and will be delivering her regular advice slot ‘Ask Becki’ So what have people been asking Becki about this time round? Well, it’s:
Becki! How do I tackle…….THE FIRST DATE DILEMMA???
It’s taken you weeks, months, or even a whole Tube journeys worth of eye contact to finally burst through the first hurdle. SUCCESS! BUT guys, she’s not putty in your hands…. yet! Of course now you have … the first date dilemma.
I’m here to give you guys an insight into how we, the female population think, drink, like and loathe, to guarantee you will impress her. First impressions are vital remember, you can thank me later!
OK so have you checked that you have remembered her; name? Check! Number? check! Great bum? check!
More often than not, this is all the information you may have on your lucky lady, so location for this crucial meeting should be your choice (we love a guy who’s great at decision making) until you know more about her.
There are always two routes you can take, Wine and dine or romantic and different? Tough choice hey! If in doubt opt for the first option a classy restaurant or cocktail bar, it gives us a great excuse to look super sexy, you get to see her at her best with lots of room for conversation (you want to get to know her a bit right?!).
Once you’ve discovered she’s allergic to seafood, can’t stand Greek/Turkish/Mexican food etc. you can then go on to choose more appropriate dinner locations as you get to know her – this shows that you also paid attention.
For the first date try and go somewhere a bit different and intimate. Like a nice Italian or Tapas or a nice Chinese. Somewhere with a candle on the table and not a metal chicken basically. Your date will NOT appreciate going to all the trouble of getting her hair done, her eyebrows threaded and looking her best, only for you to take her to Nandos or TGI’s. Unless you have arranged a semi-informal date – these places are off your radar. Likewise if you made the invite but your bank balance won’t support taking her somewhere posher than Nandos, do the decent thing and call your mates to loan you twenty pounds or so! If you do your research you can find countless little restaurants off the beaten track that will offer the right setting at the right price.
The location.
Give yourself at least a week until ‘Date night’ – plenty of time to grow that designer stubble and get a haircut! Nothing too drastic however, if she was attracted to you in the first place turning up looking totally different may freak her out – just make yourself look tidy.
Chances are she already thinks you’re hot, go with your usual style and show off your classic look… this is not the time to be trying out what the mannequin in ‘Swagger ‘R’ Us’ has on or trying to be the fifth member of JLS! Watch your footwear, we notice everything, as much as you love a pair of Louboutins on a woman, we love good man shoes – it pulls your whole look together, don’t let your feet let you down! Polish them!
That first whiff of your scent is so important; we love a guy who smells great (it always pops up in girl talks)
Current Top 5 Men’s Perfume and Aftershave
Boss by Hugo Boss – the classic bottle
Armani Code by Giorgio Armani
Pour Homme by Joop
Fuel For Life by Diesel
The One by Dolce & Gabana
Another couple to look out for are LONDON by Paul Smith and Usher for Men.
Arrange to meet her at the location (try to get there first); you can both have a bit of Dutch courage then! Now you have arrived, you look great, smell incredible…. she looks sensational … try to withhold the urge to air punch, instead tell her she looks beautiful not ‘hot’ it means more to us and makes you sound adolescent, instead compliment her on something specific e.g. colour of her dress suits her (don’t let her effort go unnoticed) If you’ve read the book ‘The Game’ you may try to ‘Neg’ us tonight… don’t, were already on to you on this one and it will end in FAIL!
During dinner, ask about her about herself, her work, friends, family, childhood, where she goes out blah, where she went on holiday – be interested!… even if you’re not! We know deep down you don’t really care about our cat’s birthday but play it cool, make us laugh – a bit of banter goes a long way. Cliché but BE YOURSELF! There’s nothing worse than a guy with potential having a plank of a personality that isn’t really him (we can tell)! Keep the convo going but don’t constantly interject when she is speaking, nod, smile and drop the odd OK and where there is a natural gap then you can speak and say ‘I know just what you mean, there was this time…’ If she drinks alcohol, and you know nothing about wine ask the waiter to recommend you a nice bottle, if it tastes crap… blame the waiter! Result!
If the dreaded awful silence occurs, pour her a glass of wine, and ask if she would like to go to a bar afterwards, the conversation of where to go has already filled the gap, minimal effort, maximum result!
So the dates over, you’ve wined, you’ve certainly dined and you could charm a snake with all the charisma pouring out of you. You’re tempted to invite her back for Scrabble, coffee, Pictionary, however you want to play it. But, if you like her and most importantly you want to see her again, bite your tongue stop thinking with your manhood and ‘Be different’. We appreciate nothing more than respect, put her in a cab (if she likes you too she’s more than likely already thinking about you) and send her a simple text in about ten minutes, simple is key…. even a 🙂 Courteous is also good a simple – ‘Thanks for a lovely evening’ will have maximum effect. Additionally you can show maximum consideration and when popping her in the cab say ‘Text me to let me know you got home safely’.
We love a challenge and we love a bit of a chase as much as you guys, but I am telling you now it’s a MYTH that if you wait a week or so to call us we will be gagging for you… chances are we now think you’re a *$#% ! Drop us a cheeky text or call a day or two later and by cheeky I mean flirty; not phone sex, you should know the drill by now and it’s from this convo we’ll decide whether or not you get the second date.
Treat a first date like you would an interview… you dress to impress… you give the best of you… show what you’re about… leave a impression, so they feel like they are the ones missing out if they don’t call you… finally you get the job (girl)!
Most of all its fun, so enjoy it! Good luck boys!
Becki xxxx
