Beyonce says “love’s got me looking so crazy right now” and in fact she’s on to something. The early stages of love subject us to such strong hormones that we literally go a little; well, crazy.
With the notion that knowledge is power here are 8 ways love could be making you down right loopy and killing your relationship.
1) Obsession: We’ve all been there, can’t stop thinking about the object of our desires to the point of unhealthy obsession/stalker behaviour. This can be caused by the relaxation hormone serotonin lowering when you’re in love, sometimes upto 40% the same is seen in people suffering with OCD, causing you to obsess about your lover and consistently reflect over times spent with them.
2) Fight or Flight: Yep blame our cave men ancestors, we’re all at once, euphoric, endangered, and exhausted. Adrenaline is produced which is what makes our hearts race and ignites that feeling of excitement when we see out loved one. This also triggers stress and the basic fight or flight response which makes some of us what to run away.
3) Mood Swings: Again not your fault, to balance out all the adrenaline your brain produces phenylethylamine to calm you down and make you feel all dreamy. You could also get this feeling from eating lot of chocolate. High leves of this hormone are also found in schizophrenic patients so kinda stands to reason you’re not feeling quite yourself around now.
4) Love sick: Can’t eat, sleep or concentrate at work or school, it’s not your fault, oxytocin, otherwise known as the “love hormone” helps two people bond (it’s also released when a mother is nursing here new baby). But while it can make us feel blissful, it can also result in loss of appetite, inability to concentrate, and difficulty falling asleep. Over time, don’t worry, these effects will subside.
5) Post Sex Blues: There is one thing waking up from a wild night out with a pounding headache and a shameful walk home ahead, but according to a recent study published in the Journal of Sexual Health, one in three women has experienced feelings of sadness and depression right after sexual encounters (even when that sex was satisfying), this can also effect men. A state called postcoital dysphoria, the condition can make sufferers feel of sad, anxious, regretful, and irritability with a new partner.
6) Love Hate Hypertension: You love him; you love him not? It’s normal to have mixed feelings at the beginning of a relationship but these can have effects on your blood pressure level. A study published in the journal Health Psychology revealed that being around people you have mixed feelings about can actually be worse for your physical and emotional health than being around people you flat out dislike. The unpredictability can stress you out, affecting your blood pressure as well as your anxiety levels and lead to……
7) Anxiety: love’s early stages make you feel personally endangered. First, the euphoria that you feel can disorganize you plus you are adding a dating relationship to your normal, busy routine. Your normal responsibilities at work and home may fall to the wayside, as you put more energy into solidifying your love relationship. This can make you more anxious than normal. Also, loving asks you to lower your defenses and loosen up your personal boundaries so that you can merge your needs and desires with those of your lover. This process can be threatening and make you feel unsafe.
8) Creating Drama: This is a little less scientific but never the less, caused by all these chemicals that are now unconsciously surging around our bodies. These strange new feelings need a voice so unconsciously you may create emotional issues and dramas to give them one, and make tangible, the endangerment and stress that you feel.
This kind of crazy is the making of a strong, healthy relationship attachment. As long as you can keep it in check and not let it burn so bright it scares off your new partner. It takes time to trust each other and to know that this attachment will not hurt you. No wonder we can feel anxious and unsafe when we first fall in love. There’s much to gain and to lose.