50 Things Men Should Know About Women

I recently read an article called 50 Things Women Should Know About Men so thought that it was only apt that a ladies version was created. So here you go, 50 Things Men Should Know About Women. Ladies let us know your thoughts and if you think anything should be added to this list. Fellas, reading this is for your own good, I hope you learn something new.

1. She is offended when you think it’s okay to check out other girls in front of her – are you dumb? And no we don’t believe that she looked like someone you thought you knew either and that’s why you were looking.

2. Farting in front of us is not cool. It’s just damn nasty. It stinks, it’s horrible. Go in another room and do it. How often do you hear her. She farts too but manages to hide it from you unless it comes out by accident.

3. She loves to cook for you but appreciates a burnt omelette from you once in a while. When it’s your turn to cook dinner doesn’t always have to be a take out.

4. Sometimes you have to pretend to be interested in her girlfriend problems. Treat her problems as ‘our’ problems. Let her know you care and that you want to help work things out together. It is called support.

5. You too have to let shit go.

6. Don’t start to explain something you can’t be bothered to elaborate on (and then get frustrated if she asks you for more details).

7. She loves a confident man.

8. She doesn’t feel like it, she’s on…and she’s constipated.

9. Periods aren’t contagious…you can call you know? Also, don’t piss her off with the question or statement ‘Are you on your period’ if you think she has an attitude with you.

10. She has at one point asked herself if she chose the wrong friend.

11. She wants you to be her knight, no matter how independent she is.

12. Your mate fancies her and she knows it.

13. ‘Nothing’s wrong’ means you’re a stupid ass and you’re gonna feel her wrath at some point in the near future. If she says ‘do whatever you want’ she doesn’t mean it and you’re going to pay for doing what you want later.

14. That time you messed up…she became the Persian warrior from the film 300 in her mind.

15. She know’s when you’re lying and she has created a plan of how to bust yo’ ass as we speak.

16. You need to try and enjoy her friends company.

17. Don’t ever make her feel like a little girl in front of HER friends or put her down in public.

18. She isn’t happy that you talk to your ex.

19. She can drive just as good as you and she can read directions.

20. When she says ‘how do I look in this?’ We want your honest opinion but for you to tell us in a nice way. ‘Baby I love you in the red dress, could you put that on instead.’

21. Beyonce may talk about independent women but we do really want you to open doors, pull out our seats and take our coats really. We don’t want chivalry to be dead!

22. She wants to feel beautiful. She wants to be complimented. Tell her! Make her feel special.

23. Having a key lock on your phone won’t stop her from looking in there if she really feels the need too.

24. She doesn’t want to know what your ex did for you in bed or what she used to cook for you.

25. She doesn’t like it when you constantly leave your dirty socks and boxers on the floor.

26. She wants you to put the toilet seat down and replace the tissue. That will save her nagging you as she doesn’t want to be a nag.

27. Giving a woman cunnilingus (aka oral sex) is a requirement not a choice during sex. If she doesn’t want you to do it, you’re not doing it right and if you’re one of those men that say you don’t do it, you can lie to your friends but you can’t lie to us, we know you do. If you’re one of the few that really don’t, we think you’re selfish and you’re missing out because it’s one of the best ways to make a woman orgasm.

28. Foreplay is a must! If she’s not wet why are you trying to make sex a painful, instead of an enjoyable experience. If you have had three quickies or there’s been non orgasmic sex for your woman by the fourth session in a row MAKE IT HAPPEN DAMN IT..you know you know how to.

29. Cinema is not a good first date option – take her to dinner or for drinks. Better still be creative. She likes out of the box thinking. A bike ride, picnic in the park or TV show recording would give you brownie points.

30. She’s not a gold digger if she’s expecting you to pay on the first date. If she hasn’t offered to pay for anything by date number 10 then she probably is.

31. If she is not into football and she sits down to watch football matches with you, it is torture for her. You owe her a nice gift (flowers or chocolate will do) or a good night out.

32. She finds a man in a suit sexy. Your trainers, jeans or trackies can stay locked away a few times a year.

33. She isn’t your mother so clean up your shit. She wants help with the cleaning and dishes. She’s not your maid or your mum and doesn’t enjoy doing it all. At the least you could make sure you take the bins out.

34. The internet isn’t just for watching funny videos and porn it is a source of great relationship material and advice..USE IT!

35. Her best friend knows everything. Sorry.

36. She wants you to make her laugh and put her smile on her face. Nice guys don’t finish last, boring guys do.

37. You will never fully understand a woman. No matter how much you try.

38. She likes to talk.

39. If you’re into porn, let her know so she can tell you if she’s cool with it or not. It will save arguments down the line.

40. Just not telling her is also actually lying.

41. If you’ve cheated and she has chosen to forgive you,  she will never forget and every once in a while her feelings of hurt and jealousy will arise. If you decided to stay you have to deal with that and not get angry at her.

42. She wants to meet this ‘old friend’…hmmm?

43. A man that can change your tyre and fix your computer or a dodgy cupboard is incredibly sexy.

44. She doesn’t really think that your beer belly is sexy. You expect her to stay slim and cute, even after she’s had a baby. All you have done is eat so you do the same.

45. She wants to know if you needed to defend her that you would. She also wants to be able to know that she can depend on you if she needs it.

46. If you have children together mummy can’t and should not have to play daddy too. Get involved guys.

47. You guys like it when we’re spontaneous! Well she likes to be surprised too. You can organise a date night once in a while, that is not going to the cinema. Make date night a priority, not just for a few weeks but forever.

48. She doesn’t want to do anal sex. Do you like objects placed in your butt hole? Well neither do we.

49. She’s not always happy about having to give you a blow job. At least make sure your sweaty balls are clean and when she is happy to do it, she will always give you the performance of her life. Appreciate it!

50. If she asks you ‘do you think her friend or some random chick is pretty’, your answer should always be hell no!